King Of All Cats

Heller, I'm Charlie Simba Mufasa Simpson, King of all Cats (or Kats, if you wanna be cool). Some people call me The Beebs, and that annoys the shit out of me.... I'm the King, not a soft, lap cat.

I'm so glad that my Mom is letting me take over her blog for the day. I sit next to her day after day reading blogs and the bish never lets me speak my mind.

I'm more human than cat, as I'm sure you can tell from the first picture of me sitting on my throne. That also means I prefer human food. So what, I go a lot little crazy over tuna? I also really like spaghetti, but my Mom never lets me eat it. Last time she made spaghetti, I jumped up on her lap like a ninja and you would have thought the woman was having a coronary. What does a cat have to do to get some pasta around this joint?

My preferred lounge space is the hideous carpet-covered stairs in our apartment. If you're walking up or down them, don't ask me to move, because I won't.

Also, if I'm letting you sleep in MY bed, you best not wake me up. RUDE.

I love to snuggle (but if you know what's good for you, don't tell anyone). Mom always mentions something about "personal space", whatever the hell that is...

But I prefer snuggling with my Dad. At least he's not an annoying bish...Mom.

Okay, okay, so I have a lisp. Make fun of me and I'll go all King of the Jungle on you. I blame it on being a runt.

Look at my dope crazy eyes!

It's been real ladies. Maybe Mom will let me make an appearance more often, but probably not because she likes talking about herself too much. Peace, Love, and Tuna Fish.