Get to Know Me: Fall Edition

I could sit here and say that fall is my favorite season of the year, but if I were being honest with myself, I say that about every season. Except for winter. I only like winter for the first snow and Christmas. After that, it can scram. But regardless of all of that mumbo-jumbo, I still really love fall.

Couple that with the fact that I have been MIA from Blogland for nearly 3 months, I think it's time for a Get to Know Me: Fall Edition.

1) I hate Halloween. Like hate, hate hate. I hate Halloween for many reasons. First, I don't understand the desire to dress up all whorish just to get black-out drunk. Hell, give me some tequila and I'll get drunk without showing my hoo-ha to every Tom, Dick, and Harry, who are more than likely to SnapChat that ish to their entire fraternity. Second, trick-or-treating is for the adorable children in their dragon and princess costumes. Not the annoying high schoolers "dressed up" in their football uniform. Save the candy for the children, ya losers. Third, it's a stupid holiday. I have no reason for that statement. It just is. BOOM [dramatic mic drop]

And with that said... y'all have fun tonight!

2) I love pumpkin everything. But I also like to point out that my love of pumpkin came way before the white girl Pumpkin Spice Latte craze (which I love as well -- no shame in my game). For as long as I can remember, my mom has made eleventy-thousand pumpkin pies every fall and you better believe I ate every.single.one with extra whipped cream on top. Pumpkin candles, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin cheesecake....hell, roll me in a can of pumpkin puree and I'll be in heaven.

3) I fully believe that Thanksgiving night should be spent pulling out the Christmas decorations. Again, another family thing -- we always pulled out the Christmas decorations on Thanksgiving night. In my mind, Thanksgiving will always be the last day of fall and the beginning of the Christmas season. If there's one thing I love more than pumpkin, it's Christmas!

4) The changing of leaves makes me emotional. It's like I'm that mother looking back on her children's baby pictures with tears in her eyes. I'm not sure why the changing of leaves does that to me. Apparently I'm emotionally unstable. I'm still waiting for the trees to change colors, but Indiana is taking it's sweet time.

5) I feel bad when I step on crunchy leaves. I know some people who will go out of their way to step on a crunchy leaf. Nope, not this girl. I'll go out of my way to avoid a crunchy leaf. Maybe it's because I hate when leaves turn into little pieces of annoyingness that seem to get tracked all over the dang place. Or maybe because I feel like it's inhumane...err, inleafmane? How would you feel if you were all old and wrinkly, dead on the ground, and someone just stomped on you. Yeah, that's what I thought.

And now you all know just how weird I really am!

Happy Thursday, ladies!

Oh, You Think You Know Me?

I can't believe that I've gained almost 50 new followers in the past week! Those of you who say "it's not about the followers" are a bunch of liars. Girlfrandddd, please! I know your heart skips a tiny beat when you see that you've gained a few more followers. We're human, we seek acceptance, and the more followers we have, the more we feel accepted. Don't deny it. The truth will set you free. Holla!

I digress. As I was saying, since I've been getting massive amounts of love through these new followers, I feel like it's time for a "If You Really Knew Me" post. But really, this is a "If You Were Inside of My Brain" post, because a lot of people really know me, but these facts are kinda weird and random. So let's get started....

-I can't take a good picture to save my life. My eyes are always closed or squinty. Or my five-head is gleaming for all of the world to see. Or I just look like a freak of nature. Here is some proof:

 

Okay, so maybe I don't really try that hard to look good in a picture in the first place, but let's all ask ourselves a question...What is my arm doing in that last picture? And nice dance move by Justin. This is why we're a great couple. We have dance moves for DAYS!

-I love food. Like, really love food. The main reason I work out is so I can eat whatever I want. On the inside, I am 900lbs. But endless thanks to my mother for her super metabolism! I've definitely been blessed in that department.

-I once testified in court for a Termination of Parental Rights hearing. Most. Terrifying. Thing. Ever. I interned at Child Protective Services my last semester of college and often observed supervised visits between children and their parents. I got subpoenaed by the mother's lawyer to testify (not sure why since I had nothing nice to say about her or the father) and I wanted to cry. There's nothing like five attorneys throwing ridiculously hard questions at you about someone's parenting (or lack thereof in this case.)

-At my preschool graduation, I announced to the entire auditorium filled with families that I aspired to be a Taco Bell worker when I grew up. Everyone else was saying they wanted to be a doctor or singer or police officer, and there's little Jenna saying she wants to work at Taco Bell. I had high expectations for myself. I'm sure it was a proud moment for my parents.

-I have a lot of pet peeves. I'm not sure why I'm annoyed so easily, but I am. Let's make a list within a list of my pet peeves:
1) When the fitted sheet on my bed comes undone.
2) Loud mouth noises. You're not a cow. Chew with your mouth closed
3) Slow/crazy drivers. I have a severe case of road rage.
4) When people don't clean up after themselves. I'm OCD about cleanliness. This is especially challenging at work. Toddler's don't know how to clean up after themselves. And they always make the biggest mess with paint. I just have to remind myself to breathe.
5) When people (JUSTIN) drop their Oreo's (or other cookies, I'm not discriminating) into the milk to get all soggy and nasty. AND THEN drink it. Barf.
...and moving on....

-My nails need to be painted at all times. Right now, they're bare and it's driving me crazy. I know I need to let them breathe, but this will probably only last for another day or two, if that.

-I'm addicted to scarves and boots. I need two closets. One for scarves and boots and another for everything else. Also, I have my eye on a pair of Tory Burch boots and it makes me cry like a baby on the inside that I will never be able to afford them. Unless I'm being financially irresponsible...

{via}

-I wish my life was a musical. Sometimes, I think of a song that would go perfectly with the scenario I'm in and then I'll proceed to sing it and make up choreography in my head. This is why I'm not afraid to admit I love the High School Musical movies. I wanted that to be my life.

So there you have it, a little look into the random facts of my life. What random facts about your life do your readers not know about you?

Hope your Monday is off to a great start! I keep on having to tell myself I only have two more weeks until vacation! It's the only thing getting me through.

**Don't forget!! One of my sponsors, Nikki, over at makeupHER is giving away a $25 gift card to Target on the blog. Click here for your chance to win!**