E! True Hollywood Story: Bloggers Edition

We all know those bloggers who live the best lives ever. Everything they write makes our sad, uneventful lives even more depressing. But be depressed no more. I've used my refined social work skills (and more so, real life experiences) to analyze typical Blogger comments. This is the real life of bloggers across the country.

"OOTD! I just threw on this outfit -- with five inch platform stilettos -- to run errands this weekend. So simple and so cute!"
Girlfriend, please. We all know you really ran errands in your yoga pants and top knot like the rest of us. Nobody wears those shoes to run to the post office....nobody.

"I made these super yummy gluten-free, carb-free, fat-free, sugar-free granola bars! You NEED to try them!"
I'm sure you're typing this while eating your pint of Ben and Jerry's like the rest of us. Ain't no shame in my game. I'd rather try those raspberry cheesecake cookies you pinned instead.

"I'm hopping back on the fitness bandwagon. I'm committed this time!"
AKA I've had too many Five Guys bacon cheeseburgers and Starbucks frappes. It's okay, we've all been there....

"I'm not a fashion blogger..."
...but I wish I was. Who doesn't want endless amounts of free clothing? And how do they pose without looking like complete toolbags? I just wasn't blessed with the fashion blogger posing gene...

"Drinks with the besties Friday night, Sushi and spa date Saturday afternoon, bar crawl Saturday night, movies and shopping allllll day Sunday. Can't wait to do it all over next weekend!"
Did you rob a bank?!?!

"Love my new baubles from _______ Etsy shop. Go check it out! Their necklaces are super affordable!"
Since when is $50 for a trendy necklace that's surely to be a thing of the past next season affordable?

Be honest with yourself. We've all fabricated information we've posted in hopes of sounding more exciting, or more put together, or like we aren't really as poor as we truly are. There's nothing wrong with the truth! I'd rather be boring and poor and a hot mess than someone I'm not. It take a lot of effort to pretend to be someone else. Ain't nobody got time for that!

*i didn't take any of the above comments from anyone's blog so don't be getting all offended on me. Peace and love ladies, peace and love.