Friday's Letters

You guys, this week has been exhausting, mentally and emotionally. You have no idea how thankful I am that it is Friday and I get a break from work. This week was the first week since I've started my new job that I've been completely honest with myself, and that has been emotionally draining. And to top it all off, yesterday on my way out of work, I ran into one of my toddlers from my previous job and his mom (his sister goes to school where I currently work). I haven't seen my baby since my last day at Time for Tots and it was so great to see him. You know I held him the entire time I was talking with his mom, and lots of kisses were given! (I'm so thankful that all of the mothers of my toddlers didn't think my obsession with their children was creepy.) While it made my soul so happy to see him, it left me in tears and just reinforced my thoughts and feelings from the week. Let me explain a little bit of what's been going on internally this week with some letters...

Dear Work, I had a hard time transitioning into this new experience and honestly, I still am having a hard time. I thought I would enjoy my new position, but the truth is, I'm not. You'll never compare to my previous job at Time for Tots. Sitting at a desk and "building a relationship" with families over the phone or through letters will never be as fulfilling as establishing a true relationship face-to-face like I was able to with my Time for Tots families. I'm not the least bit worried or upset that my position may be cut when the program switches grantees. I may or may not be thinking about not renewing my contract once August rolls around.... Dear Supervisor, I almost walked out of the meeting when you finally admitted to the other site directors that I'm pretty much a glorified assistant who gets all of your overflow work. Dear Director, I'm flattered that you think so highly of me, but I cannot believe that you picked the new girl to be part of the assessment team for the programs annual self-assessment. You may have forgotten that I've only been here for a month and a half and I'm still learning about the program. The fact that I have to assess a program I hardly know makes me sick to my stomach. Don't blame me if you don't get the findings you want! Dear Time for Tots, Come back? Please?? It's heartbreaking to have a passion for a program that doesn't exist anymore. Dear Self, Keep your head up. Even though you may not be happy with the way things are going, you're still needed at work.The homeless families and their kiddos who came with you to the new school from Time for Tots need your love and support, because it's apparent that no one else really cares about them.

I apologize for the Debbie Downer letters. Just one of those "gotta get it off my chest" moments.

Have a great weekend, lovelies!