Friday, December 7, 2012

Friday's Letters

You guys, this week has been exhausting, mentally and emotionally. You have no idea how thankful I am that it is Friday and I get a break from work. This week was the first week since I've started my new job that I've been completely honest with myself, and that has been emotionally draining. And to top it all off, yesterday on my way out of work, I ran into one of my toddlers from my previous job and his mom (his sister goes to school where I currently work). I haven't seen my baby since my last day at Time for Tots and it was so great to see him. You know I held him the entire time I was talking with his mom, and lots of kisses were given! (I'm so thankful that all of the mothers of my toddlers didn't think my obsession with their children was creepy.) While it made my soul so happy to see him, it left me in tears and just reinforced my thoughts and feelings from the week. Let me explain a little bit of what's been going on internally this week with some letters...


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Dear Work, I had a hard time transitioning into this new experience and honestly, I still am having a hard time. I thought I would enjoy my new position, but the truth is, I'm not. You'll never compare to my previous job at Time for Tots. Sitting at a desk and "building a relationship" with families over the phone or through letters will never be as fulfilling as establishing a true relationship face-to-face like I was able to with my Time for Tots families. I'm not the least bit worried or upset that my position may be cut when the program switches grantees. I may or may not be thinking about not renewing my contract once August rolls around.... Dear Supervisor, I almost walked out of the meeting when you finally admitted to the other site directors that I'm pretty much a glorified assistant who gets all of your overflow work. Dear Director, I'm flattered that you think so highly of me, but I cannot believe that you picked the new girl to be part of the assessment team for the programs annual self-assessment. You may have forgotten that I've only been here for a month and a half and I'm still learning about the program. The fact that I have to assess a program I hardly know makes me sick to my stomach. Don't blame me if you don't get the findings you want! Dear Time for Tots, Come back? Please?? It's heartbreaking to have a passion for a program that doesn't exist anymore. Dear Self, Keep your head up. Even though you may not be happy with the way things are going, you're still needed at work.The homeless families and their kiddos who came with you to the new school from Time for Tots need your love and support, because it's apparent that no one else really cares about them.

I apologize for the Debbie Downer letters. Just one of those "gotta get it off my chest" moments.

Have a great weekend, lovelies!

9 comments:

Kalie said...

Hang in there Jenna, something will work out for you in terms of work that makes you happy. I know how you feel, about just being a body there some days and just go through the motions. It will get better!

julia rose. said...

Oh girl, I am so sorry you're going through this. I cannot imagine how hard it was leaving Time for Tots and how different things are for you now. Just know that God has a bigger plan for your life than you could ever imagine, and this is just a stepping stone to get you there! Keep your head up and know I'm sending prayers your way :)

PS- Let's just open our own Time for Tots/ Adoption Agency... What do you think?!?!

Yesi said...

Jenna, it will all get better. You transitioned to a new job for a reason. Remember that reason. God has a plan for you and It will get better. I promise. Now enjoy this weekend. DO NOT THINK ABOUT WORK!! At all. Do some fun wedding stuff! Deal?

xo

Recently Roached said...

Hooray for Fridays and the end of long weeks :) So precious that you have such a good relationship with moms and their kiddos. I bet everyone loves you!

Have a great, restful weekend!

Mrs. H said...

Oh no I'm sorry that your week wasn't great! Hopefully you get into a good work flow next week. It sounds like you do really amazing work for others.

Xo, B
Brooklynstateofmindblog.blogspot.com

Alyssa @ Sugar, Spice, and a Dash of Advice said...

Hey Jenna! I can totally relate to this as a fellow social worker and someone who just left my job! I worked in foster care 4 1/2 years and the agency where I worked started falling apart so I had to leave. It was heartbreaking to leave my kids and start a new job, but I keep telling myself everyday that it happened for a reason and things always work themselves out! Hang in there, this field can be tough and things happen when you least expect them too.. bad things AND good!

Taylor @ Goings on in Texas said...

Girl, it's your blog...and when you just need to vent, do it. :) You've got a great support system here! Hang in there and know that God is in control! Happy Weekend!!

Kristin said...

thinking of you! chin up!

...Barbie... said...

not debbie downer - the honestly of this post is simply amazing. not everyone has great weeks or months and to fake it is just, well fake. i love everything about this post. keep your head up - there is a REASON you found that job and landed that job, you may not know it now or in a few weeks, but you're there for a purpose. Have a fun, relaxing weekend!!!