Thursday, June 28, 2012

Men Are From Mars

Seriously, they really are from Mars. Or some other random planet. Let's be honest, men are so weird. Don't you ever wonder what is going on inside their head? Or maybe what's not?

Yesterday, I got hit on by three men at the gas station. I'm not saying this to brag, because they really weren't the type to brag all. It's really just the intro to this story. The three homeboys were arguing about who was going to put gas in my car. (They must not have noticed that I was done pumping gas at this point) And then came the compliments. Not normal compliments, but the type you get from guys that run all together like one big word. You know, "ohyoujustagoodlookingirlneedsomeonetopumpyourgasforyouniceoutfithaveyourselfafineeveningbeautiful." Huh? First of all, this man was obviously saying whatever came to his mind because he was lying. I did not have a nice outfit on. In fact, I had on raggedy ol gym shorts and some $1 flip flops after spending a majority of my day at the spray park with 8 toddlers. Secondly, what did you just say? Men these days don't know how to communicate with the female population.

So in honor of this event, I've decided to make a list of male related issues that really just boggle my mind. Feel free to add your own, because we all know the list has the potential to be endless.

1. What's up with sagging pants?

Why are you even wearing pants? Seems like you're just wasting (hopefully) clean clothing since you're not even covering your ass. It's apparent that men do not have a clue that pant sagging started in the prisons as a way of letting other men know you're available. Boink boink. I try to tell my brother this on the daily, but I just get the whole "whatever" response.

2. Holey socks

Again, what's the point in wearing an article of clothing that is not even serving its purpose? I just made Justin buy new socks because he didn't own a single sock that didn't have at least three holes. I don't understand how that's even comfortable!

3.Wait, you don't like to shop???
Is this even humanly possible? Justin gets stressed out just walking into a store. I'm the complete opposite. The minute I walk into those doors, it's like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. If you didn't think men are aliens from another galaxy before, this point should really change your mind.

4. You're wearing the same underwear for the second day in a row...willingly?

I can't wrap my mind around this concept. Men who don't have women like us to keep their cleanliness in check don't seem to mind wearing dirty undergarments day after day. Oh, I just turn them inside out and it's like a clean pair of underwear! it's not. That's disgusting. Wash your drawers, bucko.

5. Socks with sandals...

What is it in a man's brain that makes them put on a pair of socks, slip their feet into some sandals and say "Yup, that looks good." No! You don't look good! It's hideous!

6. Oh, you're dying of the common cold? Dramatic much?

Men come down with a cold? They're in bed moaning and groaning like they've just been hit with pneumonia. Cough, cough, mehhhh (sniff, sniff). Us women come down with the common cold and they're still yelling at us to make them a sandwich!

And the list goes on...

But I'm really not a man basher. I actually find myself extremely lucky to have a guy like Justin in my life. As much as men can get under our skin and annoy the living daylights out of us, they can be pretty great. They can make us laugh until we cry, feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, and fill our hearts with a whole lot of happiness. Even though men are from another planet, I guess they can stay here in our world...

Happy Thursday, lovelies!


LacyLouise said...

Common cold hahaha Roberto is such a little boy when he gets sick, he has "allergies" and sneezes like twice and always says "I think I am getting sick" relax bud its just pollen, idk what he would do if he was the pregnant one I swear he would die

Jazmine @ Life As A Young Mom said...

LMAO Jenna, omg this post cracked me up!!!
I'm so glad my husband isn't nothing like this although there was a point where he had a hole in his socks and that was only 1x. My husband is like a girl he likes to make sure he looks good. lol

Kalie said...

Cracking up while reading this (per usual with your posts). I totally agree with the socks and sandal things - what are they thinking?! And dramatic as ever when sick. I was in the ER for a kidney stone (hello extreme pain) and my then BF was getting over a mild case of food poisoning so he didn't come see me and I was there by myself.

julia rose said...

hahahahaha girl, this is spot on!!!

elise said...

new follower! this post was hilarious! thanks for sharing! cant' wait to keep reading!

Missy Ann Rinfret said...

Oh my gosh I couldn't agree more. The ripped socks? Seriously? And change ur damn underwear. Gross. New follower! xxx

Erin said...

These are all so perfectly true. Especially the sick one. They can't do a damn thing for themselves and act like its death. Like blank stares of "are you kidding me I'm in a coma over here" if I even ask them to lower the tv volume. Jeeeeezum